Wardrobe Department Figures Aerosmith Tee Punk Enough
LOS ANGELES — The wardrobe department for last night’s episode of long-running procedural “NCIS: Los Angeles” dressed a “punk” character…
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Patrick Crooks — Page 14
158 stories found
Lifehack Just Made Problem Worse
NEW YORK — Local man Conor McLaughlin took to the internet yesterday to find a low-cost, DIY hack to help…
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Vice Writer Desperately Trying to Find Something Problematic About Spongebob Meme
NEW YORK — Vice writer Evan Walsh spent countless hours last week trying to find something problematic about a recent…
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Rising Cost of Rent Forces Couple to Become Poly
SAN FRANCISCO — Formerly monogamous couple Corinne Pickett and Rob Laban have embraced a life of polyamory, opening up their…
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If You Don’t Do Something About the Annual Murders, I Can No Longer Send My Kids to Your Summer Camp
I wish to bring a troubling issue to the attention of the management at Camp Crystal Lake. I have been…
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We Can’t Remember Why We Made This Image of Mike Pence in a Dokken T-Shirt
Well, this is just a fucking mess. Last night I went on what my ex refers to as one of…
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Effort Punk Puts Into Ditching Work More Strenuous Than Actual Job Responsibilities
BOWIE, Md. — The back-breaking labor of Free State Digital staffer and lifelong punk Michael Fazekas to avoid doing his…
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Sad Guy Alone in Bar Not as Endearing as Bruce Springsteen Would Have One Believe
BAYONNE, N.J. — Rooney’s Tavern resident sad guy John Russo is reportedly nothing more than a lonely, pathetic alcoholic, despite…
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Attempt to Sneak Keg Into Show Not Going Well
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a…
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Suicidal Procrastinator Takes Up Smoking
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned…
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