Page 2 – HARDTIMES

March 17, 2020

We’re at a crossroads here, and I don’t believe that social distancing is going to save us. Sure, I think…

March 1, 2020

NAPERVILLE, Ill. — 26-year old DIY punk and scene fixture Jax Williamson will use dental floss to fix almost anything…

February 28, 2020

CHICAGO — Logan Square resident Nick McMahon is enjoying the social capital gained from his passionate tweets against police brutality,…

February 24, 2020

CHICAGO — Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg admitted yesterday that, in times of quiet reflection, he often daydreams about ordering…

February 9, 2020

Hey dude, turn that shit off, put on that last Racetraitor record and get everyone to gather round. Why? Check…

February 3, 2020

DURHAM, N.C. — Rising data entry star Stuart Carroll is hospitalized today following a freak tech deck accident, which doctors…

January 10, 2020

These liberals get upset over every little thing, even sucking dick. Everyone knows that sex shouldn't be a safe space.…

January 6, 2020

Lock. Him. Up. That's what I wish I could say about Pete Buttigieg, but unfortunately, that dork is way too…

December 21, 2019

YONKERS, N.Y. — Local man Patrick Murphy’s childhood sock puppet is in for an experience never imagined possible later today…

October 21, 2019

CAMDEN, N. J. — Self-described “gym rat and free speech activist” Eddie Massari learned today that the product he’d been…