High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College
LOS ANGELES — Graduating high school senior Cheryl Dowd announced she has no plans to port what has so far…
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M.J. Amory — Page 8
81 stories found
Father John Misty Cancels Concert After Disappearing into Own Asshole
SEATTLE — A scheduled performance by Father John Misty was canceled last night after the singer began a long rant…
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Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery
L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically…
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Girl Who Claims to Like Video Games Grilled for 10 Hours at Senate Hearing
WASHINGTON D.C. — After reportedly stating at a casual gathering of friends that her favorite series was Mass Effect and that…
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Bill O’Reilly Leaves Fox News to Harass Women Full Time
NEW YORK CITY -- Bill O’Reilly announced Wednesday he will leave Fox News in order to devote more time to his…
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Not Even NSA Listening to Man’s Podcast
ATLANTA — Leaked documents from the National Security Agency confirmed that even they are not listening to local man Tucker…
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My Independent Coffee Shop Welcomes All Refugees That Can Afford a Six Dollar Latte
Mythical Coffee is all about coffee and inclusion. That is why our new policy is that all refugees are always…
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VICE Reporter Fired for Not Saying “Fuck” During Broadcast
LOS ANGELES -- After completing a segment on the sex lives of Kurdish fighters in Syria, VICE News reporter Dave…
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Punk Rock Bowler Keeps Hitting Same Three Pins
LAS VEGAS -- Local musician and amateur bowler Dave Kalan finished another game of bowling in which he only hit…
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College Rock Band Locked Into Groove, Student Debt
NEWARK, N.J. -- Months of hard work finally paid off for indie rock band Helsinki after locking into a musical…
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