Grandpa Still Haunted by Triple Kill He Got in Korea August 28, 2017 NEW BRIDGE, N.J. — Veteran Alex Gresham made it obviously clear to his family that he was not over his… Read More →
Middle-Aged Muse Fan Ready to Transition Into Rush Fan August 5, 2017 COLUMBUS, Ohio — Longtime Muse fan Peter Walker finally began his evolution into fandom of legendary prog-rock band Rush just… Read More →
REPORT: Moshers at Green Day Concert Funded by George Soros August 2, 2017 NEW ORLEANS — A group of 30 to 40 fans moshing at a recent Green Day concert were allegedly paid… Read More →
Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller August 2, 2017 ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend… Read More →
Study: 9 Out of 10 League of Legends Players Report Having Fucked Your Mom July 24, 2017 PASADENA, Calif. — A comprehensive study conducted at Stanford University revealed that for every ten people who regularly play League… Read More →
GameStop Employee Whips Himself in Back Room After Failing to Sell Pre-Order July 14, 2017 BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — GameStop sales representative Donald Simpson quietly walked to the employee breakroom and proceeded to whip himself after… Read More →
Wounded Iraq War Veteran Cured After Crouching Behind Box For Five Seconds July 7, 2017 WASHINGTON — The Department of Veteran Affairs revealed a catch-all cure for combat veterans that simply requires them to hide… Read More →
Marvel Reboots Spider-Man Movie During Your Popcorn and Slushie Run July 6, 2017 NEW YORK — After leaving to buy snacks midway through a screening of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Liam Brewster was shocked to… Read More →
I Know There Are More Than Two Genders but Why Won’t Any of Them Go to Prom With Me? June 22, 2017 As a high school senior during the Trump presidency, I have found that defending progressive values is more important now… Read More →
You Can Tell I’m an Ally Because of How Often I Call Myself One June 17, 2017 It is very important that cisgender white males like myself take our privilege and use it in service to various… Read More →