How To Fuck Your Sentient Snowman Without His Magic Hat Falling off
It’s the same old story every holiday season: You build a snowman, affix an old silk hat in which there…
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Kyle Stanley
18 stories found
Report: Drum Kit Belongs to That Huge Spider Now
MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large…
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Chloe Sevigny Hanging Around Indie Film Set Just in Case
VAN NUYS, Calif. — Celebrated actress and seemingly constant indie cinema presence Chloe Sevigny was seen yesterday hanging around the…
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Quentin Tarantino Getting Sick of Filming His Own Feet
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Celebrated filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is not handling social isolation well and is allegedly getting very sick of…
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Middle Earth Temporarily Bans Fellowships of More Than Five
MINAS TIRITH — The White Council of the Wise issued a decree today that all fellowships in Middle Earth shall…
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311 Cruise Spills 11 Million Gallons of Hash Oil Into Caribbean
KINGSTON, Jamaica — An ocean liner hosting the 311 Caribbean Festival Cruise struck a reef off the coast of Jamaica…
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GG Allin’s Journals Reveal He Also Smeared Shit on His Journals
MANCHESTER, N.H — Recently discovered journals belonging to the late GG Allin revealed surprising new details about the singer’s creative…
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Warped Tour Already Planning Reunion At Riot Fest 2020
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Warped Tour founder Kevin Lyman is already eyeing Riot Fest 2020 for a possible reunion of his…
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