April 27, 2019
JACKSON, Miss. — A Department of Sanitation report released early this morning stated that giant piles of garbage in passenger…
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April 21, 2019
JERUSALEM — Local punk and Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is reportedly running “an hour late, 90 minutes tops, bro”…
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April 17, 2019
SANTA FE, N.M. — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke reportedly one-upped his countertop-hopping antics last night, crashing a high-school house…
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April 2, 2019
LAS VEGAS — Legendary rude boy mascot Walt Jabsco, otherwise known as the logo for ska band The Specials, reportedly…
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April 1, 2019
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders reportedly has nearly six gallons of uneaten lentil stew after a local…
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February 22, 2019
SALOME, Ariz. — A solitary box of floss given to local man Ed Walters nearly 20 years ago is also…
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February 2, 2019
STURGIS, S.D. — A three-year-old pair of Converse Chuck Taylor’s shoes were “fucking totally soaked” earlier today, thanks to inclement…
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October 29, 2018
CLEVELAND, Miss. — Local hardcore guy and “fucking wild man” Rodney O’Dell is reportedly having the best night of his…
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September 3, 2018
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. — Local woman Elle Bautista politely feigned interest moments ago after brunch date Cris Zahn revealed that…
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March 13, 2018
CHICAGO — Aging punk and self-described optimist John “The Don” Bergeron has chosen to view his band’s current Midwestern 12-stop…
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