Jock Dad Makes Home Schooled Son Shower With Rest of Family
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs…
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Kevin Tit
104 stories found
Back in My Day Only Punks With Rich Parents Lived in Poverty
City punks are way too soft nowadays. I’m sick and tired of hearing all this crap about wage theft and…
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Business Owner Agrees to Pay Employees $15 An Hour if They Agree to Let Him Hunt Them Once A Year
BILOXI, Miss. — Local fast food chain CEO Shannon Smith reluctantly agreed to pay his employees $15 an hour last…
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Punk Celebrates Third Day of Sobriety With a Beer
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local punk and notable party animal Hilary Jones celebrated her third consecutive day of sobriety yesterday with…
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My New Year’s Resolution Is To Learn One New Machine Gun Kelly Song on Guitar Every Month
There’s a reason Machine Gun Kelly’s album "Tickets To My Downfall" debuted as number one on the Billboard charts. And,…
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Grindcore Audio Engineer Regrets Charging by the Hour
BALTIMORE — Local audio engineer Pat “Filth” Filtrenzo realized yesterday that his “pay by the hour” business model was deeply…
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New Album from The Strokes Just As Boring As Fans Hoped
NEW YORK — Fans of indie rock legends The Strokes collectively agreed that the boring nature of the band’s newest…
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Scrooge Exposed To Covid After Visit From Ghost Of Christmas Future
LONDON — Elderly miser Ebenezer Scrooge is recovering in his palatial estate today after being exposed to COVID-19 following a…
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Wedding Band Can’t Believe How Many People Came Out to See Them
WAILUKU, Hawaii — Popular Maui wedding band Holy Matrimony couldn’t believe how many people flew out to Patricia and Peter…
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MTV Teams Up With Bangbus For Highly Controversial Reboot Of NEXT
LOS ANGELES — MTV announced today a controversial new collaboration with the adult film production company Bangbus for a reboot…
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