Page 3 – HARDTIMES

November 27, 2019

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Local guitarist Joel Svensson admitted yesterday that he bought the recently released JHS OrcGrinder pedal primarily based…

November 8, 2019

WASHINGTON — A new study released last week by the Pew Research Center suggests that nearly 12% fewer Americans identify…

October 27, 2019

NEW YORK — Mariner Books, the publisher of “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years,” announced Friday their intention to…

October 10, 2019

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Local sous chef Timothy Devino tried to cheer up his potentially depressed girlfriend Jordan Meyer yesterday by…

October 5, 2019

BALTIMORE — Self-described “literary punk” Candy Huang reported today that although she’d read about the groundbreaking book, “The Hard Times:…

September 7, 2019

FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Health-conscious punk Stacey “Skaggs” Bellamy will no longer drive her rusted-out cargo van to purchase illicit…

August 29, 2019

PALM BEACH, Fla. — President Donald Trump reportedly spent Wednesday morning roaming Mar-a-Lago Resort pining for the days when America…

August 23, 2019

I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty positive guy. A bird craps in my eyes, I’m like, “At least…

August 20, 2019

HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans…

August 15, 2019

WASHINGTON — The National Rifle Association demanded today fewer restrictions surrounding the purchase and use of U.S. senators, in response…