SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Capitalizing on the true crime entertainment craze, Clifford Waters has turned his grief over his wife’s murder into fame and cash…
POMONA, Calif. — Indie punk band The Immoralities’ latest vinyl album allegedly contains no download code, forcing fans to perform the arduous task of actually…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Comedy maven and respectable drummer Darrel Reynolds sent his bandmates into laughing fits yesterday by asking his math rock band Alcoholy Water…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
So it said on your profile that you enjoy rock climbing. Well, I have a paralyzing fear of heights but I’d totally go and watch…
Nostalgia for the ‘90s appeals to absolutely everyone. You can’t even work a shift at Kroger without seeing someone in a “Dexter’s Lab” graphic tee,…
Who is your favorite Beatle? Some choose the harder-rocking, experimental John Lennon. Others prefer the technical expertise of George Harrison. Hipster contrarians make compelling arguments…
We all know Valentine’s Day is a holiday created by the greeting card industry to remind single people how unlovable they are. But if we…
DENVER — Local man Geoff Martins finally accomplished his lifelong dream yesterday, opening Mountain Trail Brewery to specialize in nondescript, bland pilsners and boring lagers…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local boyfriend and overall totally unremarkable guy Brian Cromwall utterly debased himself to do his girlfriend a solid yesterday by buying her…
I’m not a sociopath. I’m aware that you can’t see through my tall, chiseled, fragrant body. And I feel bad about it. But life isn’t…
MILWAUKEE — Representatives from the top acoustic bass manufacturers gathered yesterday outside Violent Femmes bassist Brian Ritchie’s house to beg him to purchase another bass…
A Wes Anderson film is a lot like caviar. It may not be inherently enjoyable on its own, but an astute connoisseur can learn to…
SALT LAKE CITY — Your mom just wanted to let you know today that a single, 22-year-old nurse just started working full-time with her at…
Gorillas are magnificent creatures. They stand tall with powerful posture, pick their noses, and fuck in full view of a family audience in zoos. Very…