MARSHFIELD, Mass. — The mic stand used by rock legends Aerosmith is reportedly fed up with perpetually having to wear a tie and cannot wait…
HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically chatted as he diligently practiced…
BEACON, N.Y. — Local guitarist Heff Kelsey was baffled after discovering the piece of music he was playing reportedly required a chord so difficult that…
Today the Hard Times listens to the third and latest full-length of New York City’s own Hank Wood and the Hammerheads. This self-titled release, like…
NEEDLES, Calif. — Frequent patrons of local watering hole The Running Refrigerator are reportedly befuddled over realizing the bar’s ever-playing jukebox solely contains tracks of…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Perpetual “lost cause” Kip “The Drip” Dellaher miraculously passed his science and history exams today after simply attending last night’s They Might…
PONTIAC, Mich. — Several local college seniors impressed guests by enhancing their party’s epicness with the presence of a barnyard animal in their house, thoroughly…
SEWICKLEY, Pa. — Audience members of last night’s Duck Cruncher show were surprised by an elaborate timeshare presentation instead of a proper encore, intrigued yet…
PRINCETON, N.J. — Top scientists from around the nation are reportedly perplexed beyond belief upon discovering that the band Touchstone Phone’s later material miraculously exceeds…
Oftentimes, the problem with punk music made by actual PEOPLE is that those people are so rarely puppets, sitcom characters, or Martin Short. With this…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Former psychobilly luminaries The Rot Hodders were revealed to be accidentally misdiagnosed and will be moving forward as a “sociobilly” band, medical…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Acclaimed showman Tom Waits reportedly revved up his audience at a rare live gig by shooting off a custom “Tattered Overalls and…
PEEKSKILL, N.Y — Audience members of last night’s Lurch Haus show were reportedly heard grumbling audibly at headlining band Xeroxer’s announcement that an understudy would…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local music snob Larson Cheek is extremely anxiety-ridden over the fact that nobody has taken anything from the box of free records…
BIG BEAR LAKE, Calif. — Legendary Devo co-founder Mark Mothersbaugh delighted dozens of acquaintances around a campfire after busting out his acoustic keytar to kick…