Fred Durst Clarifies That Nookie is About Sexual Intercourse
LOS ANGELES — Film director and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst put an end to years of debate by issuing…
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Jason VanSlycke — Page 2
30 stories found
Fire Truck Being a Bit Dramatic
TORONTO — A local fire truck en route to a fire reportedly honked and blared its siren despite there being…
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Top 5 Ways To Ruin Everyone’s Day With Only a Motorcycle
Oh boy, it’s a perfect day out. The weather is ideal for a nice walk with a loved one, for…
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We Rank the Top 5 Pixies Songs About Masturbation, We Think, We Don’t Know What These Lyrics Mean
Indie rock giants The Pixies have many classic songs about, well, we’re not sure. But what are their greatest anthems…
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Trump Warns Antifa Will Put Voter Fraud in Your Kid’s Halloween Candy
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump once again stoked fear yesterday by warning U.S. citizens that “Antifa terrorists will hide voter…
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Punk House Cat Turns Out to be Opossum
SACRAMENTO — Local punk house staple and thought to be beloved cat GG Mewollin is actually an opossum, veterinary sources…
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So You’re a Toddler? Name Three Shapes
Hey there, little guy. I’m your uncle, John, but everyone calls me Bonez. So... what colors you like? Nothing? Okay…
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Family Reports Home Invasion by Twisted Sister
MILWAUKEE — A feral hair-metal band identifying itself as Twisted Sister broke into the home of and terrorized a local…
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Trump Asks Doctors How Long Until Ivanka Can Sit on His Lap Again
BETHESDA, Md. — President Donald Trump is recovering from COVID-19 symptoms and home from the hospital where he keeps asking…
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Sonic Youth Weaponized Against Upstairs Neighbor
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — An artistically noisy altercation between neighbors escalated yesterday when Sonic Youth’s “Confusion Is Sex” was cranked…
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