Punk Who Got in Shape Somehow Looks Worse
PARMA, Ohio — Local punk Matt Onofrio looks substantially worse after getting in better physical shape over the last several…
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Dan Luberto — Page 2
104 stories found
Have You Watched ‘The Shield’ Yet?
Hey bud how’s it going? I’ll give the phone back to your mother in a second just wanted to say…
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Man Torn Between Supporting Local Business or Business He Enjoys
BOSTON — Socially conscious punk Casey Chaminski is reportedly torn today between supporting a local coffee roaster that consistently fucks…
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I Will Never Love My Family Like I Love Sit-Down Pizza Huts
I’m a dedicated father, husband, son, and, thank my lucky stars, I'm even still a grandson! Boy howdy, I love…
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Do I Have COVID or Did I Just Eat Too Much Digiorno
Look I know this pandemic has been hard, I know I’m not alone in the constant anxiety, paranoia, and despair…
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Old Spice Releases Shampoo/Body Wash/Toothpaste Combo
CINCINNATI — Old Spice announced today a new, all-in-one combination shampoo/conditioner/body wash/toothpaste, in their latest attempt to further their lead…
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I Don’t Make the Rules, I’m Just a Prick That Gets off on Enforcing Them
Now look, I’m just here to remind you that I don’t make the rules, I’m just an irritating prick that…
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Adjacent Member of Friend Group Clearly Still Hasn’t Learned Place
NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his…
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The Tony Hawk Games Introduced Me to Punk and Attempting McTwists Over Helicopters
For kids like me that grew up in the early 2000s, the Tony Hawk franchise was the start of great…
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We Track Down Our High School Principal to Get Back Our Confiscated “Enema of the State” CD
Like most Americans, we spent our time quarantined catching up on podcasts, learning to cook (shoutout my sourdough starter), and…
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