Top 7 Jack and Cokes I’ve Had at This Year’s Office Christmas Party
It is the time of year again when my company forces all of its employees to congregate in a cramped…
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Dan Kozuh
446 stories found
Tour Dates on Back of Metalhead’s Shirt Also His Alibi
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to…
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Metal Band That Hates Ghost Excited to Be Opening for Ghost This Summer
NEW YORK — Heavy metal outfit Awakened Flesh, vocal critics of arena rock band Ghost both in person and on…
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Every Primus Album Ranked Worst to Best
Welcome to the wacky and wonderful world of Les Claypool and Primus. Unless you are a bass player, there is…
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Donnie Darko Still Ranked Number One Movie You Absolutely Have to See According to Your Dealer
CHICAGO — A new meandering voicemail from your dealer indicated that “Donnie Darko is still the movie you absolutely must…
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Every Exodus Album Ranked
Fans of Exodus will angrily, and physically, fight the fact that this band belongs in the Big 4 of heavy…
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Old High School Friend Flattered to Receive Facebook Invite for Band’s Gig 600 Miles Away
MARIETTA, Ga. — Local IT manager Caleb Summers was taken aback earlier this week to receive a Facebook Event invitation…
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Bandmate With Kids Naively Thinks He’s Still in Band
MILWAUKEE — Local guitarist and dad of two, Andy Kim, innocently believes that he is still a member of local…
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Deforestation Eradicating Teen Drinking Habitats
TIGARD, Ore. — Reports indicate that urban sprawl and logging are decimating the forest preserves that once teamed with teenagers…
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Here is a List of Celebrities That Should Play Punks in Movies to Distract You From the Horrors of the World
After the lukewarm success of FX’s "Pistols" biopic series, it is only a matter of time before every streaming service…
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