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Every Primus Album Ranked Worst to Best

Welcome to the wacky and wonderful world of Les Claypool and Primus. Unless you are a bass player, there is probably little chance that you have actually worked your way through the Primus discography. Luckily, we are here to hold your hand as we wanted through the musical equivalent of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”

9. Brown Album (1998)

Is the schtick getting old or is Primus struggling to remain Primus? This is the most Frank Zappa drenched in Ketamine of all of their albums thus far. The album just kicks off with a sluggish spoken word mistake of a track and is never able to catch up with itself. I will applaud the band for leaning away from the catchy hooks into more experimental territory, unfortunately that experiment was a failure.

Play It Again: “Kalamazoo’
Skip It: “Hats Off”

 

8. The Desaturating Seven (2017)

Why does every latter-day Primus track sound like a doctor trying to explain something to you while you are slipping under anesthesia? There is just no energy in most of these tracks with some of them sounding like a demented segment of “Sesame Street.” This all sounds like if Tool took themselves slightly less seriously. I know Primus isn’t really the kind of band to have singles, but it is like they are actively working against having any kind of melody or hook.

Play It Again: “The Scheme”
Skip It: “The Trek”

 

7. Green Naugahyde (2011)

After over a decade without a full-length album, that isn’t live or a greatest hits, Primus is back and still sounding like a PG-13 They Might Be Giants. And why not take some time off when you have “South Park” money? That being said, this album is kind of meandering and uninspired. It feels like Primus went from genuinely quirky to weird for weird’s sake. At its best, this album sounds like a child’s toy running low on batteries at its worst it sounds like early Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Play It Again: “Lee Van Cleef”
Skip It: “Tragedy’s a’Comin’”

6. Primus & the Chocolate Factory with The Fungi Ensemble (2014)

There is something so apropos about Primus covering the entire soundtrack of “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.” Unfortunately, the whole album feels very slapdash and the fact the entire thing was based around covering “Pure Imagination” it makes every other track seems like an afterthought. Most of Les Claypool’s performance sounds like a drunk dad leaving you a meandering voicemail at 2 a.m.

Play It Again: “Pure Imagination”
Skip It: “Candy Man”

 

5. Antipop (1999)

I’ll admit, as someone who had a poster of Primus on his wall and wore the t-shirt, I was long over them (the “Brown Album” was just too hard to stomach) by the time this album came out and I never actually listened to it. I will say that it seems that they got the kickback in their step. This is a fun, energetic roller-coaster of an album and I feel bad that I never listened to it. Once again every track is essentially a character breakdown of an R. Crumb doodle but at least it’s fun.

Play It Again: “Mama Didn’t Raise No Fool”
Skip It: “Electric Electric”

4. Tales From the Punchbowl (1996)

Maybe it was the surprising success of “Pork Soda” but this is the first album where Primus sounds like they don’t know what to do with themselves. Don’t get me wrong, all the songs still sound like the theme song to canceled Saturday Morning Cartoons, but it all feels forced in a way that seemed so effortless beforehand.

Play It Again: “Southbound Pachyderm”
Skip It: “Year of the Parrot”

 

 

3. Fizzle Fry (1990)

Like them or not, rarely has a band come out of the womb so fully formed with such a confident personality as Primus does on “Fizzle Fry.” Les Claypool is already a complete carnival barker on acid from track 1. Most other bands would tip-toe around sounding like a cartoon walrus (both in voice and lyrics) for their first album.

Play It Again: “Too Many Puppies”
Skip It: “Harold of the Rocks”

 

 

2. Sailing the Seas of Cheese (1991)

Like the Kinks, every song is its own sad little story about loss, fate, and Kubrick. At least that is what I got out of it. This album is like a Rorschach Test, everyone is going to get something different out of it but in the end it is probably just silly nonsense. Primus has a way of drawing pictures with their music, strange little doodles in the margins of society but somehow, at least with their best albums, they are able to remain just barely within the lines of pop-music making enjoyable melodies out of the strangest of circumstances.

Play It Again: “Tommy the Cat”
Skip It: “Sgt. Baker”

1. Pork Soda (1993)

You know how there are these folk artists with no formal training that make crucifixes out of old bike parts or whatever and just fill their yard with them, not doing it for fame or fortune but because they just feel compelled by some unknown force to create. Primus is the musical equivalent of that and it shows on this album. They are folk artists who have a passion and a need to express themselves in the only way they know how. Obviously, Les is their leader but that doesn’t negate the work of the other members… whatever their names are.


Play It Again:
“The Air is Getting Slippery”
Skip It: “Bob”