With the election cycle heating up and America more divided than ever the world’s most elusive supernatural creatures came out of hiding to declare their…
ST. LOUIS — Local wedding DJ Ron “Mixmaster” McAllister was left in a state of utter bewilderment last Saturday after discovering that all music did…
LAS VEGAS — Heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch recently transformed their merchandise table into a fully functioning Army recruitment center, sources close to…
LEMI, Finland — The International Heavy Metal Association (IHMA) agreed today to accept that “Beer” and “Professional Wrestling” will be recognized as official subgenres for…
WASHINGTON — An army of dads from across the nation descended upon the capital in a wave of cargo shorts and socks with sandals to…
Limp Bizkit’s ‘Significant Other’ has hit the quarter-century mark this year and so does the anniversary of you losing your virginity. Unfortunately, the two are…
“It’s a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time!” To celebrate one of the only days a year people…
LOS ANGELES — Occasional musician and filmmaker Rob Zombie admitted that his foray into the cinematic arts was driven by a lack of fresh horror…
In a world full of gourmet options and high culinary standards, I, Tony DeMarco of Tony’s Pizzeria in the middle of nowhere Indiana, take great…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Disney’s beloved icon Mickey Mouse was unceremoniously fired after a decades-old airbrushed image of him smoking a joint recently surfaced online, Disney…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead and avid drinker Stephen Mullins realized he needs to donate increasingly larger amounts of blood and plasma just to achieve the…
SYDNEY — Iconic Australian rock band Divinyls ended decades of speculation when they finally confirmed that their hit song “I Touch Myself” is an ode…
NASHUA, N.H. – Rebecca Sanders, girlfriend of local punk Ben Stumpf, allegedly puts on a Henry Rollins spoken word record before leaving for work each…
PADUCAH, Ky. — Self-proclaimed internet detective Ralph “RurualSherlock” Jenkins managed to only wreak havoc on the lives of three completely innocent individuals before promptly abandoning…
SAN FRANCISCO — A group of amateur ghost hunters recently declared they’ve captured evidence of paranormal activity in an abandoned Denny’s, claiming that the restless…