Fantasy Metal Show’s Coat Check Consists Primarily of Capes
LANSING, Mich. — The coat check at the Iron Smelt Theatre was filled almost exclusively with capes during fantasy metal…
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Courtney Hill — Page 2
18 stories found
California Dispensary Announces Throwback Night Where Three Friends Spend Two Hours Divvying Up an 1/8th
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Invisible Gravity Cannabis Dispensary recently announced it will host throwback night where patrons can relive the…
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Kid Only Vaping to Look Cool in Front of Older Brother’s Sex Robot
FAIRFAX, Va. — Local sixth-grader Kenny Jenkins suddenly took up vaping in hopes of charming his older brother’s sex robot,…
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Nu-Metal Conjoined Twins Born Connected by Dreadlock
APPLETON, Wisc. — Hot Topic co-workers, Brandy Graff and Dilan Hoffstedter, were “hella stoked” to welcome healthy twin boys conjoined…
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Punk Pledges $20,000 per Month to The Hard Times Patreon After Randomly Guessing Valid Credit Card Number
BOSTON — Local punk Patricia "Peg Leg" Sullivan made a massive pledge of $20,000 per month to the recently launched…
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15 Drugs Ranked by How Likely They’ll be Legal in Colorado Next Year
Back in 2012, while the rest of the country was still content to decriminalize small quantities of marijuana or prescribe…
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Idiot Guitarist Manages to Lose Pick Inside Electric Guitar
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose…
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Punk Frontman Accidentally Calls New Girlfriend by Old Drummer’s Name During Sex
WALLINGFORD, Conn. — A blossoming romance wilted last night after Ty Baldwin, lead singer of local punk outfit Gashmaggot, called…
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