INDIANAPOLIS — Tempers flared earlier this week as members of recently broken-up metal band, Corpse Wax, quarreled over possession of a twenty-foot-tall animatronic goat demon…
PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Conservative pundits outraged by Hasbro’s announcement that Mr. Potato Head would become gender-neutral immediately created petitions to ensure the company would not…
DETROIT — Local YouTube guitar teacher Nita von Bismark quietly mumbled to her online students that she would put on a Jimi Hendrix documentary and…
PORTLAND, Ore. — “Mom Walls” and “Dad Walls” barricading themselves in front of local law enforcement and federal agents have now accepted the “Stepdad Wall”…
DALLAS — Patients at Dallas General Hospital learned yesterday that Dr. Graham Alder, one of the facility’s most trusted surgeons, is actually a “total pussy”…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — 26-year-old pop-punk frontman Derrick Ford hit his breaking point last week while tutoring his 17-year-old girlfriend Madison Parker during online summer school…
WASHINGTON — President Trump ironically announced earlier this week that he would be a “law and order” president, despite a lengthy history of criminality, sources…
CINCINNATI — Brent Samuels, widely regarded as a terrible friend and questionable person all around, abruptly suspended his viewing last night of “American History X”…
We can all agree that ska is the worst, right? I mean it’s just kinda silly. All the off-beat guitar, trumpets and trombones, absurd lyrics,…