“They’re Actually In Purgatory,” Reports Every Single Fan Theory
NEW YORK — A shocking new fan theory posited by every single Redditor last week claims that your favorite fictional…
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Charles Bill
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We Interview The Absolute Moron Who Tried To Make Risotto On Chopped
This past week we all watched as executive chef Jeff Tray was eliminated from the hit Food Network show “Chopped”…
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Man Feels Uneasy When Rod Serling Gives Opening Narration Near Him
DALLAS — Quarantined man Forest Whitlock was struck with a feeling of great anxiety today upon seeing Rod Serling, host…
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Website Has No Idea What to Do With Actual Horny MILF In Your Area Who Just Signed Up to Fuck With No Strings Attached
DETROIT — The operators of popular pornography site PornGash were confused and panicked last night when an actual local, horny…
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I Am Your Estranged Father and I Returned to Retrospectively Review “Achtung Baby”
Hey there kiddo, it’s been a while huh? "Achtung Baby" was U2’s seminal 1991 masterpiece, a rejection of their previous…
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Imagine Dragons Scrap New Album Because No Songs Are Fit to Play Leading Into NFL Commercials
LOS ANGELES — Popular rock band Imagine Dragons announced today that they scrapped their upcoming album “Explosion” when they realized…
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