Oh God No: Morrissey Actually Showed Up This Time
He’s really here, isn’t he? Oh sweet mother of Christ, no! Only reason I came here was so I could…
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Ashley Naftule — Page 2
49 stories found
Crust Punk House Evacuated After Bath Bomb Threat
TACOMA, Wash. — The residents of the “Scab Lab” crust punk house were evacuated last night in response to an…
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I Screamed Like Goku at Bible Study and Now They’re Giving Me an Exorcism
Ever since I heard people do these “Scream Like Goku” events on Facebook, I’ve been wanting to get my Super…
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9 Reasons Why “Armageddon” Is The Only Good Movie In Criterion’s Pussified Collection
Listen up, cinephiles: you need to stop buying Criterion Collection movies. It's nothing but a bunch of overpriced, pussified indie-foreign…
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Turkey Pardoned By President Will Kill Again
WASHINGTON — President Trump pardoned a 5-year old Bourbon Red turkey named Mikey this morning, sparking outrage amongst law enforcement…
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I’m a Sexy Pilgrim and I’m Tired of My Culture Being Appropriated for Halloween
I've been silent for too long and it's time I spoke my truth. I'm tired of seeing my culture being…
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Watching Slayer Live Gave Me the Courage to Tell My Girlfriend I Sacrificed Her Cat to Satan
Music sets you free. It's like an enema for your soul. I know that sounds like lame hippie shit, but…
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I Lost a Bet, so Here’s My Review of Lil Yachty’s Acoustic Set
Last night bubblegum trap rapper Lil Yachty played an intimate acoustic set at Yancy's in downtown. Sitting on a stool…
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Last Night’s Beach House Show Was The Best Naptime I’ve Had Since Kindergarten
I saw Beach House play an intimate set at Starry Night yesterday and it was just what I needed. It…
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It’s Been Six Days And Sleep Are Still Playing (Please Send Food)
When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage in Death…
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