IRVING, Texas — The Pizza Time Players, the animatronic band featured for decades at the Chuck E. Cheese arcade and pizza chain, was blacklisted yesterday…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local father Frank Redondo continues to live unknowingly under speculation and ridicule due to his unshakeable belief that Freddie Mercury was heterosexual,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Game designer Andrea Falco was shocked to discover some constructive criticism in the middle of a 6,000-word death threat email she received…
TEMECULA, Calif. — Indie singer-songwriter Marcy Morrison’s entire fanbase died last night in a ritualistic mass suicide, taking place during a performance of her most…
Most of the time we’re stoked when our favorite bands drop unreleased tracks. But some long lost B-sides aren’t buried treasures. Sometimes they’re just straight…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local women found conclusive evidence that God doesn’t know what they want, sources confirm, based on the existence of Chad Tuckers, the…
LAS VEGAS — Patrons and employees at the Hi-Ball Bowling Alley recently discovered that the party of ten men in matching bowling shirts at lane…
MOGADISHU, Somalia — White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer held a press conference this morning, confirming reports that the yacht rock genre has been hijacked…
AUSTIN, Texas — Indie-rock band The Goonie Squad was “thrilled” by the chance to go unnoticed by two dozen hungover, apathetic industry leaders during SXSW’s…
AUSTIN, Texas — Taco Bell advertising executives proudly unveiled the company’s SXSW activation earlier today: a fried chicken-wrapped stage for their Crunkwrap Supreme Showcase at this year’s…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Karaoke enthusiast Dain Whitcomb had “no idea” what to do during the instrumental parts of Black Sabbath’s classic song “War Pigs,” according…
ORANGE COUNTY, Ca – Organizers for emo festival When We Were Young recently announced that they had landed a coveted Morrissey cancellation as their headlining…
We’ve all been there. You get dressed to the nines for a night out on the town, head out the door to meet your crew,…
LOS ANGELES — Concertgoers at the Lovecraft Bar experienced complete, crushing disappointment late last night, when they heard potentially awesome metal band Evisceratops play a…
