I’ve been silent for too long and it’s time I spoke my truth. I’m tired of seeing my culture being appropriated on Halloween. I’m a…
Music sets you free. It’s like an enema for your soul. I know that sounds like lame hippie shit, but it’s true. I felt it…
Last night bubblegum trap rapper Lil Yachty played an intimate acoustic set at Yancy’s in downtown. Sitting on a stool in front of a sold-out…
I saw Beach House play an intimate set at Starry Night yesterday and it was just what I needed. It was, hands-down, the best naptime…
When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage in Death Valley, I knew I had…
TEMPE, Ariz. — ASU student Shelly Campbell has started dating local realtor Aaron Jackson two months after breaking up with longtime boyfriend Eric Johnson, who…
IRVING, Texas — The Pizza Time Players, the animatronic band featured for decades at the Chuck E. Cheese arcade and pizza chain, was blacklisted yesterday…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local father Frank Redondo continues to live unknowingly under speculation and ridicule due to his unshakeable belief that Freddie Mercury was heterosexual,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Game designer Andrea Falco was shocked to discover some constructive criticism in the middle of a 6,000-word death threat email she received…
TEMECULA, Calif. — Indie singer-songwriter Marcy Morrison’s entire fanbase died last night in a ritualistic mass suicide, taking place during a performance of her most…
Most of the time we’re stoked when our favorite bands drop unreleased tracks. But some long lost B-sides aren’t buried treasures. Sometimes they’re just straight…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local women found conclusive evidence that God doesn’t know what they want, sources confirm, based on the existence of Chad Tuckers, the…
LAS VEGAS — Patrons and employees at the Hi-Ball Bowling Alley recently discovered that the party of ten men in matching bowling shirts at lane…
MOGADISHU, Somalia — White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer held a press conference this morning, confirming reports that the yacht rock genre has been hijacked…