ROBBINSDALE, Minn. — Waitstaff at a popular local restaurant attempted to calm down 68-year-old Debbie Jeffries off the premises after she would not stop yelling at her table’s QR code for more ranch dressing, confirmed sources.
“Is this the AI everyone is talking about? The hostess told me these little squares know what food I ordered, so it should be able to bring me more ranch dressing. Hello lazy square, I’ve asked you nicely several times! I want to speak to the square’s manager!” said Jeffries. “Back in my day, you could wave down any restaurant employee in your line of sight and ask them to bring you something every five minutes. It took me twenty minutes to find the photo app on my phone to open this ‘kewer code’ and now it’s ignoring me. I’m not leaving until somebody brings me more dressing for my salad!”
Restaurant staff had tried in vain to explain to Jeffries the ordering process.
“QR menus just make things easier in that we don’t have to deal with people as much — in theory. I tried to explain to her that the table isn’t voice-activated and she just kept on screaming ‘ranch’ at the table until she passed out,” said food runner David Millslack. “Honestly I’d get her some if she wasn’t so much of a dick about it. Maybe if she spent less time bitching about customer service and more time learning technology that’s existed for almost ten years, she’d be sucking down her third sidecar of Hidden Valley.”
Owner and restaurateur Mike Andersen admitted that QR codes were still not entirely embraced by customers.
“From a business perspective, QR menus are a boon because I don’t have to pay as many staff and customers can order the second they’re ready. On the other hand my restaurants get endlessly trashed on Yelp over it by the older folks because of the lack of the ‘human experience.’ Of course, this is directly related to the fact they can’t sexually harass QR codes or force them to laugh at bad jokes in exchange for a tip over 10%,” said Andersen. “I understand Mrs. Jeffries’ frustration, but at this rate I’ll glady give her an industrial sized bottle of ranch if she just shuts the fuck up.”
As of press time, Jeffries called 911 claiming the QR code was refusing to bring her extra ranch because she’s a Republican.
