ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Amateur guitarist Jay Alvarez recently purchased a $450 delay pedal in an attempt to replicate the last few seconds of Radiohead’s 1997 Hit “Karma Police,” concerned friends reported.
“I’d heard the song streaming a few times and I started to wonder how they made that wild sound at the end,” said Alvarez while testing various 9-volt batteries with his tongue. “I checked Ultimate Guitar and according to user guitarslut69, who posted ‘Karma Police (ver 8),’ it requires a delay pedal. I checked Amazon, and they had one for $25, but there’s no way Jonny Greenwood would settle for bargain prices. So after talking pedals with a Guitar Center salesman for about two hours, I walked out with the real deal, a Strymon Timeline Multidimensional Delay for only $450. If only I can figure out how it works.”
Alvarez’s friend and fellow guitarist Tim Williams reported the pedal was impressive, but rather difficult to operate.
“You should see this fucking thing, you could fly it to the moon and back,” said Williams while searching YouTube for instruction demos. “He got it two weeks ago and we haven’t figured out how to make the sound in ‘Karma Police’ yet. But look at this goddamn pedal. It’s got nine knobs, three buttons, and like 37 input/output jacks. But even with all that it’s impossible, there’s no way that it’s just one delay pedal in that song, I’m starting to think it’s two in stereo or something. I think Jay should buy another one or three more just in case. That’s gotta be the secret.”
Guitar Center pedal specialist Max Travis, who sold the pedal to Alvarez, admitted he’s not much of a Radiohead fan himself, but was fairly confident in his sales pitch.
“Honestly, I haven’t heard that song in forever. And why would I? I don’t really listen to music. But I figured the Stryman’s gotta have the features he needs,” said Travis while offering $50 for a used Strymon Riverside sold two months prior. “If he comes back to return it, I always know what to say in these Radiohead-based situations: ‘Have you tried adding an EQ pedal or a boost? That’s gotta be what’s missing, try that.’ As long as he keeps the pedal for 30 days, the return window closes and the sale is final.”
At press time, Alvarez and Williams were back at Guitar Center looking at a used Kemper Profiler for $1,585.