NEW YORK — Local ad agency Brunch Menu launched a new advertising campaign that simply read, “These aren’t your dad’s skinny jeans,” confusing every onlooker who was unfortunate to be within eyesight of it, confirmed sources who were less inclined to buy the product after seeing it.
“Skinny jeans are back and they’re not for people who listened to indie sleaze or emo in the mid-2000s who now have three kids and an unsettling inability to change with the times,” said Senior Marketing Coordinator Brad Dudley. “No! You and all your very youthful friends can bask in the unaccommodating rigidity of this new line of skinny jeans from the up-and-coming brand Tarred and Feathered. Sure, your dad might think they’re kind of neat, but we assure you, he is a nerd. His wants, needs, and opinions must be vanquished. Also, it’s not easy to come up with flashy ads nowadays. Unfortunately, we as an industry will never be able to replicate a Jake From State Farm or Geico gecko. Let us have this one.”
Those who noticed the ad didn’t quite understand what it was going for.
“I expect better from an advertisement on the subway platform,” said 19-year-old Lou Dawson. “I mean, I have no idea what they’re trying to convey here. For one, my dad evidently wore JNCOs back in the day, not skinny jeans, and I would kill to own a pair of them. Plus, my dad listens to Alice in Chains, Deftones, and Korn, so he rules. Dad is the best. I exclusively buy pants that my father would’ve worn in the late ‘90s. The bigger, the better. Nice try, advertisement. I find it alarming when an ad aims to separate me from my family.”
Experts noted an unnerving trend in current marketing strategies.
“Ad agencies have been struggling in recent years to get their intended audience to buy the products they’re promoting,” said analyst Dane Brunell. “So they’ve been trying to get more aggressive and downright vicious at times. Anthropologie recently put out an ad that read, ‘These mom jeans ain’t your mom’s jeans. Fuck that bitch.’ Then there was Urban Outfitters whose ad just said, ‘All 38-year-olds must die and go to Hell.’ It wasn’t even promoting a specific product or anything. Dire times we live in.”
At press time, Brunch Menu doubled down on the campaign by putting out a second confusing ad that read, “These aren’t your grandfather’s carabiner keychains.”