OK, so apparently our new intern Caleb is completely full of shit. We hired him because he said he could make an interview happen with legendary Celtic punkers Flogging Molly, but it quickly became obvious that he didn’t expect to have to fulfill this promise when we brought him on. Is this at least partially on us for having hired him on sight simply because we liked his Samhain shirt when we met him at Jersey Mike’s? Possibly, but he had to have foreseen this whole ordeal ending poorly when he used Craigslist personals to set up the interview.
So there we were, tablets in hand with questions at the ready, nervously awaiting Flogging Molly’s arrival. We’ve been fans since “Swagger,” so this was a really big opportunity for us. Suffice it to say we were taken aback when a red-haired woman dressed exclusively in black leather arrived at our offices in lieu of Dave King, and we immediately knew something had gone awry when we saw that she had brought with her ball gags, posture collars, whips, and something called a “fisting swing.”
It turns out she, too, adopted the entirely appropriate moniker “Flogging Molly” for her work as a dominatrix for hire, and she had driven to our Los Angeles offices all the way from Fullerton at Caleb’s behest. We tried to make the best of the situation by asking if she happened to know anyone in Flogging Molly, but she didn’t, and in fact had never even heard of them. Any pretenses of this session even remotely resembling an interview then went out the window when she rather rudely instructed us to don one of her gimp suits.
While this certainly wasn’t how we expected the afternoon to go, we’re never ones to turn down a new experience, so we acquiesced to Molly’s demands and endured the entire three-hour long session that Caleb had apparently scheduled. We won’t go into the details, but if you happen to be looking for a dominatrix in Southern California, we definitely recommend Flogging Molly.
Unfortunately, it never occurred to us during our painful and eye-opening time with Molly that she would be expecting recompense for her services, so we were a little dismayed upon receiving the $600 bill. There is currently no money in the Hard Times bank account after we drained it to pay Caleb’s sign-on bonus (really, really stupid of us, we know, but you should’ve seen how cool his Samhain shirt was) so we’ve now found ourselves in a bit of a financial quandary.
We definitely need to honor this outstanding payment, so please don’t be surprised when you see The Hard Times become a pay-per-article news site. It’s just until we can pay this debt to Flogging Molly, we promise.