MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Punk band Descendents announced a new album titled “Milo Moves to Canada” in response to Donald Trump’s election victory, which is set to release late January, confirmed sources.
“It’s the natural progression of Milo and his coming of age story,” said lead singer Milo Aukerman while testing out his brand new bunson burner he ordered off eBay. “First you go to college, then you don’t want to grow up, because naturally everything sucks, but then all of a sudden a wannabe dictator is reelected president and you have no choice but to move to Canada. Song titles include ‘Ontarioage,’ ‘Trudeauage,’ and ‘I Wanna Be a Moose.’ We even have enough material for a follow-up EP. That one will be titled ‘Milo Gets Universal Healthcare’ and will be released as soon as Milo becomes an official citizen of Canada.”
Fans couldn’t wait for the new album.
“Finally the band seems to be getting back to their roots,” said Greg Hypson. “I thought they were taking Milo in some sort of Bill Nye the Science Guy direction with their 2016 release of ‘Hypercaffium Spazzinate,’ since it had a bunch of beakers all over the album cover. Hell, Milo’s head and body were even depicted as some sort of nightmarish Lovecraftian laboratory flask. That one just didn’t speak to me. But moving to British Columbia is a message I can get behind.”
Experts were quick to note similar instances in music history.
“This isn’t the first time a punk band was going to title their album about our neighbors up north in response to major political events,” said critic Mel Drapson. “Green Day’s concept album ‘American Idiot’ was initially called ‘Canadian Genius.’ That was going to be about a guy who immigrated to Calgary during George W. Bush’s time in office. The Misfits’ ‘Walk Among Us’ was at first going to be titled ‘Walk Among Us in Saskatchewan,’ which was a concept album about an American zombie vampire werewolf living in Saskatoon to escape the Reagan administration. Punk bands are always trying to escape to Canada. Or at least writing about it.”
At press time, Descendents announced a 30-city Canadian tour that coincidentally begins on Inauguration Day.