AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky condemned Hollywood’s current lack of emotionally resonant sports movies that would be enhanced by a score consisting of the group’s signature musical aesthetic, confirmed sources.
“Most of our album and ticket sales come from people who wept like a baby at the end of the OG ‘Friday Night Lights’ film,” said guitarist Mark Smith. “Sure, the movie can’t seem to decide whether it’s about the glory or dangers of high school football, but the vast majority of our fans are happy to give us money while they gush about how that ending scene actually made them feel something for the first time since their grandmother’s funeral. But anyway, how are we supposed to move albums if people aren’t going to associate our big emotional crescendos with underdogs persevering on an athletic field? It seems like everything that comes out now is some sort of sad indie flick or a slasher film. The crushing elegance of a song like ‘Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean’ just isn’t going to work with a ‘Terrifier’ movie.”
Explosions in the Sky fan Dwayne Marsh sympathized with Smith’s perspective.
“I love this band, but let’s face it: all their albums have the same loud-quiet-loud dynamic, and then finish up with a wall of distorted power chords,” said Marsh. “If I’m going to buy a new album, I’ve got to at least associate it with a moving depiction of hardworking and selfless athletes defying the odds. Otherwise, it’s just gonna sound like the last album and every other one in their discography. Hell, I’d even take a soundtrack from a baseball movie at this point.”
Music critic Dave Goldman believed the band needed these types of sports movies to succeed.
“Many people say they’re an Explosions in the Sky superfan, but they barely seem to listen to them outside of what they hear on film,” Goldman explained. “But when anyone puts on ‘Friday Night Lights’ or ‘Blue Mountain State’ or even the teaser for ‘Street Fighter V’ suddenly they start staring into the distance with a tear rolling down their cheek, quietly whispering about how they haven’t called their dad recently. I mean, yeah, it’s easy to get sucked into all the pathos. Unfortunately, bands without singers require a sports movie to be played over it to fully enjoy.”
At press time, Explosions in the Sky announced their own newly founded movie studio, the debut release of which will be about a one-legged runner who wins the Boston Marathon.