SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Local dad Martin Daniels was left confused today after realizing a Kidz Bop ska album he purchased for his kids sounded identical to a regular ska album he listened to in his youth, sources confirmed.
“I loved this ska band ‘When Harry Met Skally’ when I was in middle school so I bought the Kidz Bop version for my sons, but now I wish I had just saved my money because it sounds like the same exact studio recording—I honestly don’t remember there being so many songs about rollerblading or how it sucks when your mom forgets to buy pizza bagels,” said Daniels, looking at the track listing on the back of the original CD. “I could have sworn there were some risque songs about day drinking and chasing girls but nope, just ‘Capri Sun Drunk’ and a love song about Ms. Pac-Man.”
Daniels’ five and seven-year-old sons were less enthusiastic about their dad’s attempts to introduce them to the ska music that defined his youth.
“Dad keeps trying to get us to listen to his cute little ‘jazz bands’, but my taste in Kidz Bop records is a little more sophisticated. I can’t be seen on the playground listening to songs about Lunchables when my peers are listening to Tonka Tool and Radiohead, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes,” said five-year-old Parker Daniels, admiring his vinyl Kidz Bop collection. “I’m sure that this passed as serviceable music back in the late 1900s, but it simply cannot compare to the sonic depth of ‘Karma Paw Patrol’ on the ‘OK Tablet’ album.”
Kidz Bop cover band artist Tommy Twister insisted that despite the identical sound, they had re-recorded the entire album.
“That ‘When Harry Met Skally’ cover was the easiest gig we ever had, we didn’t have to change a single word—we actually added a few more mature themes because we felt the original’s ironic cover of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Ska’ was a little too tame for our target audience of elementary school-aged kids,” said Twister. “We re-recorded the music and everything, but it’s not our fault that a bunch of thirty-year-olds made an album with songs like ‘No Ska Without the ‘Za’ and ‘Don’t Tell Teacher I Ate My Dog’s Homework.”
At press time, Daniels’ was seen trying to get a refund for the Kidz Bop versions of several clean MxPx albums he had also purchased for his kids.