ASHEVILLE, N.C. – Singer-songwriter Elaina Driver was booed last night after audience members were disappointed that she didn’t sound as sad and pathetic as she did on her studio album, deadpan sources confirmed.
“What kinda horseshit is this? I’m a huge fan of sad folk music that makes me wallow around and wear the same stained black shirt everyday. So, when Elaina announced a tour, I knew I was going to drop $75 to have an emotional breakdown in public,” said longtime fan Marisol Torres. “But then, when she came out on stage smiling, I have never felt so betrayed in my life. I don’t understand how someone can write harrowing lyrics about losing a loved one and then make jokes about ‘big chungus’ at a concert.”
After enduring the onslaught of sneers, the singer-songwriter expressed her confusion surrounding the situation.
“People pay money to see me, so I gotta make sure it’s entertaining. As much as I’d love to sit emotionless and run through my setlist without any banter, I don’t want to become the bane of every therapist’s existence,” said an exhausted Driver. “Look, I get that my songs hold a lot of emotional value to some people, but I’m in a much better place now. When I first wrote my debut album, I was sad, lonely, and depressed. And now, I’m still sad, lonely, and depressed, but at least I’m getting paid for it.”
Dr. Jon Bennes, a social psychologist and researcher at the University of North Carolina, gave his professional take on the behavior of the crowd.
“It’s a very interesting scenario. Fans are upset that Driver’s upbeat mood and heartbreaking lyrics aren’t in sync, which is a very jarring contradiction. It’s like those freaks that are overjoyed when it rains on a dull Monday at their dreadful office job,” said Dr. Bennes. “From my understanding, Driver released her debut album seven whole years ago. While one might think a person can cognitively develop, emotionally mature, and fundamentally change as a person during the span of seven years, it’s pretty uncommon.”.
At her next tour date, Driver reported feeling demoralized after being booed and delivered a gloomy performance, which subsequently garnered rave reviews.