Erin McLaughlin
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HYANNIS, Mass. — Local man Kenny Gomez was outed as a “fucking liar” on Tuesday evening upon telling a pharmacy…
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John Danek
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If Jimi Hendrix opened the door to what could be done on an electric guitar, Eddie Van Halen split-kicked that…
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Kevin Tit
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his…
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Dan Rice
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Dear Smut Developers, I am writing in regards to an ad for your product that I saw while trying to…
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Ted Pillow
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EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Everyone attending last night’s Twenty One Pilots drive-in concert at Metlife Stadium kept their seatbelt on…
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Claire Brown
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ROCHESTER, Minn. — Dying 80-year-old man Rex Titus revealed to friends and family today that, after a decade of battling…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played,…
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Ish Gupta
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Listen babe, no one in this scene is a bigger ally than me. When news breaks about a band member's…
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Clara Endres
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CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since…
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Ted Pillow
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We recently sat down with renowned intellectual Noam Chomsky for an illuminating discussion on political systems, linguistics, and the state…
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