Dan Kozuh
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SAN FRANCISCO — Music aficionado and frontman for alternative metal band Faith No More, Mike Patton, admitted today that he…
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Aaron Weerasinghe
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PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth…
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Jake Menez
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BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Fans of the classic NBC sitcom Cheers rejoiced today as a massive data breach revealed that long-gestating rumors regarding…
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E.M. Caris
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When I was an impressionable youth, I was corrupted by cigarettes. At the tender age of 16, smoking ads were…
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Stephen Bell
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TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie…
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Ted Pillow
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Am I the future of Gonzo journalism? I sure hope so, because my behavior today endangered my marriage, traumatized my…
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Dan Kozuh
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LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of…
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LAS VEGAS — Amateur boxer Mackenzie Smalls is making waves after knocking out heavyweight champion Kingsly Ippolito with a flurry…
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Mark Roebuck
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CARY, N.C. — A disgruntled but loyal Fortnite player has offered an unsolicited 14-point plan to completely fix the most…
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Owen Crowlie
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In the history of the internet, comments have had a great deal of bad press. Comment sections in the past…
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