OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his…
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Patrick Coyne
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DENVER — A controversial new study conducted by “a gaggle of lame-ass dorks with like, basically two followers or whatever”…
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James Gavigan
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NAMEK — Local psychopath and emperor of Universe 7, Frieza, reportedly failed to turn into his final form at a…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ATLANTA — Video game company Nintendo has sent a cease and desist to local fan Denis Fernandez for his Legend…
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Jon Swihart
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Listen pussies, I’m not going to “tone down” my drinking just because you claim I have a problem. Sure, my…
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Patrick Coyne
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SALT LAKE CITY — Relatively tidy local woman Aaliyah Thomson is allegedly debating which side of her horrendously stained and…
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John Danek
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SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Capitalizing on the true crime entertainment craze, Clifford Waters has turned his grief over his wife’s…
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Aidan Sears
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Talk about a once in a lifetime moment! When 33-year-old line cook Danny Bordeaux went to see Rise Against perform…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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NEW YORK — Local punk Johnny Tolbert’s extensive record of good deeds and “random acts of kindness” are all simply…
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Joseph Stilwell
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RENTON, Wash. — Local dungeon master Sean Murdoch was rushed to the hospital yesterday evening, after his player and cousin…
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