Joe Rumrill
•
SPOKANE, Wash. — Local anxiety-sufferer Eno Patrice upped his attempt at his daily mental health walk to a mental health…
Read More →
Brett Olsen
•
PARMA, Ohio — Local lummox Andrew Creosote felt a vague sense of accomplishment Tuesday morning when he uncharacteristically stood up…
Read More →
Joe Rumrill
•
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — Disturbed onlookers rolled their eyes as local bozo Sturgill Lacey clearly envisioned himself in an opening…
Read More →
Charles Bill
•
PORTLAND, Ore. — A local couple’s hike was put on hold after a really neat stick was found on the…
Read More →
STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University made a shocking discovery and no longer recommend taking mental health walks due…
Read More →
Eli Johnson
•
ABERDEEN, U.K. – A walkathon across Scotland organized by rock duo The Proclaimers was abruptly canceled after volunteers positively identified…
Read More →
Amber Scala
•
BERKELEY, Calif. — Legendary Terror frontman Scott Vogel was caught incessantly checking his Fitbit watch while pacing back and forth…
Read More →
Literally A Koala
•
DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his…
Read More →
Kyle Sekaquaptewa
•
LANSING, Mich. — Far-right protesters who descended on the Michigan Capitol today arrived several hours later than scheduled, due to…
Read More →
