LOS ANGELES — Popular clothing manufacturer JNCO announced a steep drop in their stock price following the sudden announcement that the 2025 addition of Sick…
WASHINGTON — President Biden called for a nationwide moment of silence and contemplation after the stock price of the Norfolk Southern Corporation (NYSE: NSC) sharply…
SAN FRANCISCO — The few remaining employees at Twitter who survived Elon Musk’s blitzkrieg staff cuts last month are now joining forces to start a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Richest man in the world, Elon Musk, acquired Twitter earlier today and will immediately begin rewriting the company’s history to show he…
ST. LOUIS — Local man Connor Goodman checked the stock market today and was too confused by what he read to feel any sense of…
LEAWOOD, Kan. — The value of hot, buttered movie popcorn dropped below $4,000 per barrel for the first time in decades this week following the…
It was a rough news week for people who wanted to tweet something topical but had no idea what the fuck the stock market actually…
NEW YORK — Hedge fund manager Tweed Newtshire lost over $1 billion this week, all because of a dumb mobile game for casuals. “Gaming the…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local redditor Nelson Briggs has reportedly invested his entire life savings into video game news website GameSpot, mistaking it for the retailer…
SAN FRANCISCO — Amidst the growing need for production of more PlayStation 5’s, popular game deals purveyor Wario64 has taken matters into his own hands…
NEW YORK — Stock photo websites jacked up their prices today for pictures of financial workers on Wall Street looking dejected on the trading floor…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed by his sleeping girlfriend Jennifer…