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Tag: speed metal

4 stories found

Concerned Friends and Family Fear Man Has Reached “‘80s Speed Metal Fan” Level of Alcoholism

Chris Bowen • April 9, 2024

TORONTO — Family and friends of local man Neil Dupont are growing increasingly concerned for his health after showing signs…

Concerning: Dentist Just Put On Speed Metal Before Root Canal

Charles Bill • April 12, 2023

AUSTIN, Texas — Local dental patient Peter Thomas was in a state of panic recently when his dentist began absolutely…

How Long Should I Wait to Tell My Bassist the Song About His Dead Son Is Awful?

Dan Kozuh • March 21, 2017

This is a sensitive topic but I could really use some advice. See, our bassist Tom … he lost his…

Speed Metal Band Wired to Explode If They Play Less Than 300 BPM

Ashley Naftule • November 29, 2016

SEATTLE — A mad bomber wired local speed metal band Adrenaline Enema to explode if they play at less than…