Charles Bill
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November 10, 2025
CHICAGO — The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists shocked the world today with an announcement that their most chill scientist…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
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August 11, 2025
SALEM, Ore. — Local scientists at the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW) warned this week that flushing unused…
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Frederick O'Brien
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April 18, 2025
BOSTON, Mass. — Scientists confirmed that Democrat lawmakers’ spines are by far the softest material on the planet, and quite…
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DALLAS — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control raised warning flags about a new strain of Hulkamania found in…
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Rob Ryder
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January 29, 2025
OSLO, Norway — Physicists at the Goering Institute of Hardcore Physics recently discovered a new form of toilet paper thinner…
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Zac Lux
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September 16, 2024
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — A team of scientists was left bewildered after a series of tests definitively proved that smashed guitars…
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Tim Graham
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July 18, 2024
HELSINKI, Finland — University of Helsinki researchers released results of a study showing the Sunday Scaries are gradually encroaching on…
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Doug Kolic
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May 27, 2023
DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,”…
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Joe Rumrill
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April 13, 2023
PRINCETON, N.J. — Top scientists from around the nation are reportedly perplexed beyond belief upon discovering that the band Touchstone…
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Max Barth
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July 10, 2022
PARIS — A team of international scientists at the University of Paris stunned the world when they produced the first…
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