Tim Graham
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ABILENE, Texas — Local school sports fan Steven Flick will no longer offer his support if there’s a chance he…
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Reuben Blanchard
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s…
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Popular conservative influencer Jake Fowler intends to “own the libs” by spending two months in a notorious…
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Matt Husser
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LEXINGTON, Ky. — Self-proclaimed MAGA Christian Cullen Monroe took a moment to remind himself of his core values today with…
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Lauren Grimaldi
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WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance once again shared his belief that Americans need to be having more babies, though…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Donald Trump announced that he would be meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin to discuss a number of…
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Sean Fallon
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local curmudgeon John McCallister loudly revealed that he believed wheelchair ramps are woke, despite once being capable…
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WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk's entourage asked for a significant raise if they…
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Frederick O'Brien
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HELL — The underworld is in chaos after a coup d'état orchestrated by the late American diplomat Henry Kissinger sent…
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Tim Graham
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her…
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