Kyle Erf
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump lashed out today during an early morning Tweet storm, panning left-leaning media outlets across the…
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Pete Fritz
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TACOMA, Wash — A 9-volt battery was found dead inside a wah-wah pedal last night shortly after noise-rock band Necro…
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Sam Rose
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WOODLAND, Calif. — Emerson Middle School teacher Erol Raybould inconspicuously cuffed his shirt sleeves this morning in hopes that his…
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Zach LaRose
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NEW YORK — VICE staff members were reportedly saddened by the recent closing of celebrated DIY space Huevos Ranch, which…
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Edgar Towner
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First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m…
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Carson Soukup
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DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved…
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Taylor Roebuck
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FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the…
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KC Phillips
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GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local DIY punk veterans the Splatz, who have been doing-it-themselves for nearly two years, now wish somebody…
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Kyle Erf
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SEATTLE — The dismal sales of a T-shirt featuring an amazing design were blamed on the inclusion of the band…
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John Danek
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AUSTIN, Texas — All-around nice guy Ken Ludlow has reportedly found himself in another long-term relationship with a woman despite…
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