TACOMA, Wash. — Local deranged person Billy “Bile” Harrison reportedly listened to the album created by his friend Jake Gomez on shuffle rather than from…
First things fucking first. Who the hell do you think you are talking to? Airing your grievances about me straight to my fucking face at…
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection between weight gain and drinking…
The end of the year is a great time to reflect on all that’s happened in the last 12 months, be that to reminisce on…
DODGE CITY, Kan. — Local adult Amelie Hartman was spotted pathetically trying to keep up with the latest trends by parting her hair down the…
NEW CASTLE, Del. — An unnamed man was arrested and taken into custody under the suspicion of “potentially having committed any heinous, violent act imaginable”…
One of the most powerful things about music is its ability to connect us with distant cultures. It’s amazing how much you can learn about…
TULSA, Okla. — Local venue owner Michelle Kirk reportedly doubled her gross income by installing a new booth that sells photos of audience members actively…
BEACON, N.Y. — A local raccoon known around the neighborhood simply as “that thing in the yard” could not believe someone would throw away a…
COLLINGSWOOD, N.J. — A local gang of librarians are accused of assaulting homeowner Jessica Wheatley over the installation of a “little free library” on her…
NEW YORK — Local punk band Horny Horny Hippos magically transformed into a supergroup when a spider living in their practice space turned radioactive and…
GARY, Ind. — Cass Pollard was shocked this Christmas to discover that their partner’s family apparently opens Christmas presents stone-cold sober the entire time, sources…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Notorious asshole Bill Finley was kidnapped in the middle of the night by a disembodied paranormal entity and taken on an…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers without the social stigma once…
LAUGHLIN, Nev. — Touring band Jug Blowers attempted to avoid the drama of last year’s disastrous holiday festivities by enacting a firm two drink ticket…