prime Archives - The Hard Times

Kensuke Tanabe Backtracking Through Nintendo Offices to Find Key That Lets Him Continue Metroid Prime 4 Development

Kensuke Tanabe Backtracking Through Nintendo Offices to Find Key That Lets Him Continue Metroid Prime 4 Development

By Giovanni Colantonio

KYOTO, Japan — The development of Metroid Prime 4 has reportedly stalled after series producer Kensuke Tanabe discovered he was missing an important key that…

Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date

Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date

By Julia Platz-Halter

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has announced that early next year they will reveal the date for the Metroid Prime 4 teaser trailer. Since its debut…

Jeff Bezos Announces Plan to Just Beat the Shit out of Small Business Owners

Jeff Bezos Announces Plan to Just Beat the Shit out of Small Business Owners

By John Danek

SEATTLE — Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announced his plans today to “personally beat the shit out of small business owners across the country”…

New Amazon Glory Hole Shoots Random Products into Your Home for $10 a Month

New Amazon Glory Hole Shoots Random Products into Your Home for $10 a Month

By Davin Givhan

SEATTLE — Online retail behemoth Amazon will roll out their new “Glory Hole” home subscription service this month in select U.S. cities, representatives confirmed. “Customers…

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Episode 7: Contributor/Musician Jordan Breeding

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with Hard Times contributor and senior writer at Cracked.Com, Jordan […]
Goth’s Not Dead

This week on Fanboys, the guys rush to the defense of a beleaguered Bruce Springsteen, reluctantly crown a second Hall […]
Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa…?

Today’s episode makes a whole bunch of no sense. Mario and Luigi go fishing, even though they have plans to go to […]
The Hard Times Podcast w/ Walter Delgado

Matt and Bill are joined by Rotting Out’s Walter Delgado to talk about prison and weight training. You know, […]
Episode 6: Hawaii Punk with Kevin Tit

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with stand up comedian and musician Kevin Tit. From Hawaii, to Germany, to […]

Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
By Nick Ortolani on June 30, 2019
Like, seriously. I’m asking honestly, do you all hate me? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid but I sometimes feel like you’re all talking behind my back or...
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
By John Danek on June 26, 2019
I can't believe we're finally heading to Ozzfest! We've been talking about this for years and it's finally happening. Where else can you find the taint-shaking talents of Rob Zombie,...
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
By Krissy Howard on June 23, 2019
Hey you. It’s me. I need to ask you something and I hope you’ll be honest with me. I know you’ve been hurt before by people who are quick to...
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
By John Danek on May 21, 2019
Virtuoso. Iconoclast. Visionary. Ska pioneer. These are just some of the terms used to describe legendary jazz/ska trumpeter Miles Davis. He never once confined himself to the boundaries of genre...