HARTFORD, Conn. — Local man Eric Palermo revealed himself to be a total poser after wearing a CBGB T-shirt despite never stepping foot in an…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Self-described “punk” Anthony Atomma was reportedly left feeling embarrassed and exposed yesterday when his Spotify Wrapped revealed that in the past…
Sonic Youth is quite possibly one of the most influential bands of all time, at least I think so anyway. Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon…
So many people around here think that the scene just appeared one day and has been magically going strong ever since. But what you have…
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. — Local graphic designer Eddy Dignan adopted a grueling schedule of listening to songs and artists in order to game the Spotify Wrapped…
Hey everybody, look at this poser in the Black Flag t-shirt! Real original, asswipe. Did you get it at Target, in the Goodfellow and Company…
*TO EDITOR: I’M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH.* The Hard Times: Hey, nice shirt. Name 3 songs. Kendall Jenner: Ok. Off which album? Their…
NEW YORK — Local metalhead Mark Calhoune confidently wore a Mastodon shirt to the Museum of Natural History despite not being able to name a…
Oh really you’re a “big fan” of R.E.M? Forgive me for seeming incredulous, but your poser ass doesn’t fit the bill. Maybe you caught a…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Terry Miller became the target of derision and mockery from patrons at upscale eatery Stem when he showed up wearing…
It seems like every passing year the line between what is and is not punk becomes murkier, so I want to draw a line in…
SAN DIEGO — Music identification software Shazam faced an ethical dilemma today, ultimately failing to disclose the song playing at Marshalls late yesterday afternoon due…
DETROIT — Juggalo scientists reportedly made a “major breakthrough” in their tireless efforts to finally answer the question that has plagued the Juggalo community for…
I know that not everyone is going to agree with this decision, but the council of straight edge elders has spoken. After much research and…
DODGE CITY, Kan. — Local adult Amelie Hartman was spotted pathetically trying to keep up with the latest trends by parting her hair down the…