Studies show pets often take on the characteristics and habits of their owners. Okay, well if that’s true, then my cat Fruit Punch should appreciate…
SEATTLE — Local cat owner Robbie Kratchiz admitted yesterday that his cat tree was the most expensive piece of furniture in his entire apartment, sources…
SACRAMENTO — Local punk house staple and thought to be beloved cat GG Mewollin is actually an opossum, veterinary sources confirmed. “GG is a fucking…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local good boy Valentino was disgusted and appalled last week after an afternoon at his favorite brewery was ruined, thanks to constant harassment…
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN EARTH AND LV-462 — The Weyland-Yutani Corporation has found themselves under intense scrutiny after a xenomorph alien slaughtered the passengers and crew of…
FERNFIELD, Wash. — Four Dungeons & Dragons players put their DM in a tough spot this past weekend when they decided to take on the…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Butters, a five-year-old male Labrador Retriever, told reporters that he could taste the $90 difference between the Xbox Elite Controller and the…
DERRY, Maine — Local punk Liberty Van Zandt is running out of blank skin for commemorating her dead pets, and is expected to be fully…
LANSING, Mich. — After spending years teaching himself to communicate with his dog, junior programmer Tom Watkins was “shocked and disappointed” to discover that Jenga,…
NEW YORK — After a long battle with apathy, local musician Peter Costello was forced to put his pet project VeRu to rest earlier today.…