RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled still has yet to begin,…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Irritated neighbors of yours confirm you fully lost your shit early this morning when you discovered the indie-rock band Los Combustibles while…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local father Brett Donaldson let everyone at Disneyland know yesterday that “…he’s no fucking pussy” by proudly wearing his Hatebreed shirt on…
LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
COCKEYSVILLE, Md. — Computer scientists have successfully created a new algorithm for punks, elitists, and adherents to all things “alt” to keep up with all…
EPHRATA, Penn. — 79-year-old grandmother Patti Leinbach was, for the first time ever, completely indifferent about her grandson Pete’s music career, sources at a weekend…