LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage all four men in the…
JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their faith and fandom, exhausted sources…
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to the progressive rock band without…
JEROME, Ariz. — Workers at Maynard James Keenan’s Caduceus Cellars were reportedly debating what to do with pallets of unsold “Stinkfist Chardonnay” after the Tool…
DURHAM, NC — Researchers at Duke University recently discovered that playing Tool for your newborn will cause them to grow up thinking they’re smarter, deeper,…
COLUMBUS, Ohio —Notoriously weird bands Primus and Puscifer announced a joint headlining show at an upcoming Unbearable Tinder Date Convention which expects to draw thousands…
Each Sunday The Hard Times takes a look at a notable album from the past. This time around we reviewed Puscifer’s “Conditions of My Parole,”…
Tool is a platinum-selling, Grammy-winning, Billboard-topping collection of brilliant artists. Despite selling out arena tours, the average person does not understand the genius of the…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we’re taking a look at “Undertow” the debut…
BOSTON — Local 39-year-old Tool fan Mark Gibson spent his entire shift last Wednesday angry at the fact that a genius of his magnitude was…