It’s been a long night of drinking, meaning we have inevitably reached the point where my bladder has caught up to my mouth/stomach, and I…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local moron Griff Bradshaw made frequent frustrated attempts to gain entry to the venue bathroom you were, unity recently, peacefully defecating in,…
BROOKLYN — Indie rock musician Kirby Wardle would do just about anything to get a crowd at one of his shows like the one currently…
BURBANK, Calif. — Hollywood is abuzz amidst reports that one of its most fabled power couples, acclaimed director Martin Scorsese and his ‘70s muse, a…
FLATWOODS, Ky. — Local woman and sloppy-wasted friend Kara Stanley offered a play-by-play account moments ago of the “absolute ass-kicking” she would’ve given that dude…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Hazel Mason ate her entire three-day supply of weed earlier today while standing in line to enter The Fest, trying…
INDIO, Calif. — Urban legends and age-old folklore circulating at this year’s Coachella allege that “abundant, hassle-free” beer awaits revelers in a rarely-trodden, enigmatic corner…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging punk rocker John “The Don”…
SALT LAKE CITY — Self-identified punk Alexandra Fairuz discovered earlier today, via a search of her surname on Ancestry.com, that she descends from a long…
RICHMOND, Va. — Riley Tabul, dressed in a new, floral romper, is oblivious to the icy stares she’s receiving from everyone waiting in line for…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — While the rest of the world is out buying presents for loved ones this holiday season, local man Benjamin Edwards is…