Kid Buying Misfits Shirt to Fit In
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POMONA, Calif. — Local kid Garrett Dehaven is buying a Misfits shirt in an attempt to fit in with his…
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Tag: kid
45 stories found
Punk Prodigy Pukes Onstage During Preschool Recital
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JAMESTOWN, N.Y. — Local punk prodigy Marriott Dubois puked onstage during his preschool recital, solidifying his arrival in the local…
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How I Got My Parents Back Together by Becoming Their Common Enemy
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Your parents are kind of like real-life superheroes when you’re growing up, so when they sit you down at the…
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Lars Ulrich Threatens to End Metallica if Other Band Members Keep Missing His Sweet Jumps off Diving Board
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MIAMI — Longtime Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich was seen threatening to break up the band if his fellow bandmates continued…
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Not So Tough Now: How We Easily Beat the Crap Out of the 8-Year-Old Currently Living in the “Home Alone” House
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“Home Alone” is a movie that helped define a generation and is still revered to this day. The film follows…
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Punk Dad Feeling Nostalgic for Life Before Kids After Seeing Carefree Man Passed Out in Trough Urinal
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CHICAGO — Punk dad Paul Bourne was briefly overcome by a wave of nostalgia for his reckless life before kids…
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We Revisit the Top 30 ’90s Kid Snacks in an Attempt To Feel Something, Anything
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Life is great and all, but after 30 years or so of it, a certain apathetic malaise starts to set…
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Punk Kid Sets up Sharpie Tattoo Shop in Playground Tunnel
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PITTSBURGH — Trailblazing tattoo artist, entrepreneur, and fourth-grade student, Sammy “Slugman” Sluggins opened up a discreet semi-permanent Sharpie-based tattoo shop…
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“Friends” Characters Ranked By How Likely They Would Narc On Your Kid’s Unlicensed Lemonade Stand
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Every child, at one point in their lives, has wanted to own and operate their very own lemonade stand. It’s…
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Punk Kid With Lemonade Stand Also Selling Loosies
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MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis. — Local youngster Phoebe Flax, age 9, is reportedly selling loose cigarettes alongside her delicious lemonade, according…
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