CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat Ass’ new music, tech sources…
LOS ANGELES — Local priest Father Charles Bovie recently pronounced newlywed social media influencers “wife guy and wife” during their wedding ceremony, doomscrolling sources confirmed. …
LAKE PLACID, N.Y. — A local squirrel expressed concern over the fact their decaying body may eventually be featured on a black metal band’s social…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Local man Gerald Stephenson delayed his highly publicized departure from social media an extra few minutes to respond to a couple more…
ASHEVILLE, N.C — Local woman Vanessa Taylor continues to be thrilled by the growing Body Positivity Movement for all of her friends and family but…
Being an adult is tough. There are taxes and oil changes, eventually, you’d do anything for a moment of peace and quiet. Even when I’m…
Hi there, friendly reminder to my little coven of followers — just because I’m completely committed to using witchy aesthetics as part of a personal…
Are you one of those people who derive their internal sense of worth and belonging from a career? That’s no way to go through life!…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk band Glow Schtick bragged about the “secret show” they performed this past weekend, despite only calling it a secret after…
CAMDEN, N.J. — Local bass player Conor Lenihan is in critical condition after being beaten mercifully by his bandmates for releasing a statement regarding the…
LOS ANGELES – Local wellness influence Juniper “Uni” Ferdinand offered her sincerest thoughts and manifestations to the victims of another senseless mass shooting, her followers…
You know what? I’m sick and tired of you chicken-shit slacktivists always pandering and never putting your asses on the line. You hide behind your…
Listen, we’ve all been in this situation before. You take a little break in your day and decide to sneak a peek at your phone.…
NEW YORK — Popular internet dog Muppet announced early yesterday afternoon that his cutest content will be going behind a paywall via the website OnlyFans.com,…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Accountant Keith Lowell has the suffix “guitar” at the end of his Instagram handle despite showing no signs nor evidence of having…