WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes…
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WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk's entourage asked for a significant raise if they…
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Chris Bowen
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BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer's Almanac forecasting a particularly…
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Zachary Wolf
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I don’t know why everyone always complains about how hard it is to quit smoking, I did it the first…
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Steve Packosky
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CHICAGO — Nu-Metal band Disturbed revealed their 2000 hit “Down with the Sickness” was also a Simon and Garfunkel cover…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the…
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Jordan Liffengren
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WASHINGTON — Famed Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort was spotted at Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, hiding under First Lady Melania…
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Reuben Blanchard
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Some might say Cradle of Filth has too many albums. In fact, we’d say that. So here we go: Cradle…
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Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller capped off his day by rewatching the death of horse…
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Patrick Coyne
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Take note, Charles Perrault! And would someone PLEASE shove the hemorrhaging corpse of Grace Kelly out of the driver’s seat??…
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