I’ve often been called a late bloomer. While I’ve always resented that label, everyone who called me that had a fair point: I refuse to…
BELLS BEACH, Victoria — Former President Donald Trump was seen evading authorities by attempting to surf a giant wave off the southern coast of Australia…
Nietzsche said that if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you, which is why I never stare directly at…
MINNEAPOLIS — Target announced they would be reducing this year’s selection of Pride merchandise to a single t-shirt depicting an androgynous person shrugging in response…
Doctors and scientists will tell you that alcohol is severely dehydrating, but doctors also used to prescribe lobotomies to anyone with ADHD, and scientists were…
BOSTON — Local deathcore fan Toby Branstein decided to bust out his finest carabiner keychain for the upcoming special Red Chord show, confirmed sources who…
WATERLOO, N.Y. — Staunch MAGA Republican and binge-drinker Justin Brently decided to show his unwavering support for Donald Trump after his recent felony conviction by…
BOISE, Idaho. — Followers of the QAnon conspiracy theory are trying to find hidden meaning in the 34 felony convictions of former president Donald Trump…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead and avid drinker Stephen Mullins realized he needs to donate increasingly larger amounts of blood and plasma just to achieve the…
My Uncle Ted stood at the lectern, tears in his eyes reciting “Auld Lang Syne”, when off in the distance an El Camino could be…
LOS ANGELES – Instagram doctor Brenda Rinaj, known as @CurezUGood, was faced with the tragic task of letting a patient know that they’ll be unalive…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump announced a sweeping series of policy changes intended to overhaul the United States prison system shortly after being…
NEW YORK – A juror involved in former President Trump’s ongoing hush money trial discovered a box of Trump Steaks and a Degree from Trump…
SYDNEY — Iconic Australian rock band Divinyls ended decades of speculation when they finally confirmed that their hit song “I Touch Myself” is an ode…
I’ve never felt like I fit in with the rest of my family. I’m a childless adult, I’m agnostic, I’m not a sports guy and…