DAVENPORT, Iowa — A cash-strapped punk band embarking on their first tour was able to cut their transportation expenses 90% by stealing an unattended sprinter…
FLOYD KNOBS, Ind. — A new independent study revealed that basically anything you think happened around 2022, was probably closer to 2017, if not earlier.…
Your straight edge loved one has become ensnared in the terrible trap of Liquid Death abuse and you can’t stand to see them like this.…
MARIETTA, Ga. — Local girlfriend Kaitlynn Gagnon is unable to sleep after spotting a Line 6 Spider in the corner right before shutting her eyes,…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump signed an executive order that required Disneyland to reopen Splash Mountain and “Song of The South” be restored to what…
You there. Yeah, you. I see you in that, ahem, “vintage” Strokes t-shirt, leaning against the wall in your ripped jeans and your Chuck Taylors.…
NASHVILLE — Country songwriting newcomer Bill “Ribeye” Jackson unveiled a new track that reportedly had completely inverted the dominant paradigm of down-home narratives about dirt…
WASHINGTON — The Federal Aviation Administration announced that real motherfuckers may still board all domestic flights, regardless of Real ID status, White House sources have…
Hey, kid. I may not be a household name, but back in the day, I was one of the in-demand session players. From ‘80 to…
BOSTON — Local father and software engineer Evan Froom is reportedly excited to see emo bands Bright Eyes and Cursive perform together, recalling an earlier…
OMAHA, Neb. — Recent budget cuts to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration by the Trump Administration has rendered it unable to adequately warn Midwest…
Nobody is completely honest while online dating. Some guys will fudge their height a couple inches or pretend to be more into reading than they…
SALEM, Mass. — Your friend Jared Bunter finally reached out today to let you know about his band’s upcoming gig despite six months of radio…
STOWE, Vt. — Party attendees are on high alert after learning that the acoustic guitar on the premises has been wired to detonate if a…
Few leaders are as internationally reviled as Russian president Vladimir Putin. Whether he’s unlawfully invading his neighboring countries or meddling in American elections, the 72-year-old…