When I put on my outfit this morning, I really thought I looked fantastic. Black skinny jeans, Chelsea boots, button-down shirt, skinny-tie, slouchy blazer with…
SEDONA, Ariz. — Local man Shelly Peabody informed his friends in The Tent Pole Pedestal that not only would he not be able to attend…
Winter is right around the corner and like many of you, I’ve been frolicking in crunchy leaves, wearing all of my stylish coats and sweaters,…
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that catered to creeps after he recited the age of…
BALTIMORE — Volunteers with the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Acoustics (PETA (But Not Assholes)) recently rescued a badly mistreated Yamaha acoustic guitar…
I met with my therapist today. He said I should start to see the benefits of my journaling soon, but it’s been three years. Four…
DUBLIN — Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan passed away after a lengthy illness at age 65, or 112 when converted to Irish Poet years, according to…
An automobile isn’t fit for the road unless it has a CD player or Discman with a cassette tape adapter–which is definitely the main reason…
CHICAGO — Local woman Jenna Morris was thrilled to discover that her Spotify Wrapped did not contain any traces of Bo Burnham’s “Inside” this year…
You know what really pisses me off? These Johnny-Come-Latelys who show up in this fandom that me and my friends slaved over cultivating for the…
WASHINGTON — Embattled Congressman George Santos says he is not worried about his future as a politician and that he is already shifting gears to…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate, Ron DeSantis, promised that, if elected, he would change the fifty stars section of the American…
So it finally happened. Word got out at work that you play an instrument and now that one coworker who plays bass wants to jam…
NASHVILLE — Musician John Oates revealed the highly publicized restraining taken out against him by his former bandmate Daryl Hall was an elaborate marketing stunt…
JERUSALEM — The Israeli government and Hamas agreed to a humanitarian ceasefire after the IDF realized needed time to receive more missiles from the United…